February 4th, 2010 Add Your Comments

Right so you might think that I’m potentially crazy, but I got really extremely bored. I saw people my age (~15) just going at it talking like morons. I d0nt th1nK J00 W0UlD like people to talk like that, and if that’s the only way they understand, what do you do? Type like that?! Hell no.

In comes DoucheSpeak, a stupidly simple application that searches for normal english words you define inside its code and replaces those words with the new and “improved” ghetto alternatives. Some testers say that it doesn’t replace perfectly, but does work 90% of the time which is what I’m aiming for considering that I’m not going to write some complicated grammar-detecting text-replacement macro :P

Binary: http://www.mediafire.com/file/oxwjotm2x2m/DoucheSpeak.exe
Source (not going to post the whole VS project, but you can figure it out):

?View Code VB
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Public Class Douche
 
    Private Sub Douche_Load(ByVal sender As System.Object, ByVal e As System.EventArgs) Handles MyBase.Load
        ' Center the damn thing to the screen
        Me.CenterToScreen()
 
        ' Fade in for lulz
        ' This just tells the ProgressBar how much value it can account for
        ProgressBar1.Maximum = 100
        ProgressBar1.Minimum = 1
        ProgressBar1.Value = 1
        ProgressBar1.Step = 1
        ' This shows the timer interval (milliseconds?) || Reccommended Setting = 15 or less
        Timer1.Interval = 4
        ' Enable the timer without click function
        If Timer1.Enabled = False Then
            Timer1.Start()
        End If
 
        ' F*** YEAH SEGA
        ' Check out: http://blogs.vbcity.com/xtab/archive/2006/02/03/5813.aspx

        My.Computer.Audio.Play(My.Resources.Sega, AudioPlayMode.Background)
 
    End Sub
 
    Private Sub Timer_Tick(ByVal sender As System.Object, ByVal e As System.EventArgs) Handles Timer1.Tick
        ProgressBar1.PerformStep()
        Me.Opacity = ProgressBar1.Value / 100
        If Timer1.Enabled = False Then ProgressBar1.PerformStep()
        If ProgressBar1.Value = 100 Then
            Timer1.Stop()
        End If
    End Sub
 
    Private Sub Button1_Click(ByVal sender As System.Object, ByVal e As System.EventArgs) Handles Button1.Click
 
        ' ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ '
        ' MAIN REPLACEMENT MACRO!
        ' ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ '

        DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("man", "bro")
        DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("dude", "son")
        DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("boy", "boi")
        DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("my", "ma")
        DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("you", "yo'")
        DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("your", "yo")
        DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("stuff", "shit")
        DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("brother", "homie")
        DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("whats up", "sup")
        DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("what's up", "sup")
        DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("drink", "drank")
        DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("cops", "5-O")
        DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("police", "fuzz")
        DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("a lot", "mad")
        DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("plenty", "mad")
        DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("sister", "sista")
        DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("whats up", "sup")
        DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("let's go", "bounce")
        DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("lets go", "bounce")
        DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("stole", "jacked")
        DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("won", "beat")
        DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("relaxing", "chillin'")
        DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("call me", "hit me up son")
        DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("money", "bank")
        DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("girl", "ho")
        DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("my mother", "my moms")
        DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("exhausted", "wasted")
        DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("annoyed", "pissed")
        DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("frustrated", "pissed")
        DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("angry", "pissed")
        DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("furious", "pissed")
        DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("really", "mad")
 
        ' ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ '
        ' END MAIN REPLACEMENT MACRO!
        ' ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ '

        ' ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ '

        ' Start G/Q Replacement Macro

        If GQ.Checked = True Then
            If DBOX.Text.Contains("g") Then
                DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("g", "q")
            End If
        End If
 
        ' End G/Q Replacement Macro

        ' ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ '

        ' Start Case Inversion Macro

        If ICASE.Checked = True Then
            Dim douche As String
            douche = DBOX.Text
            DBOX.Text = FlipCase(douche)
        End If
 
        ' End Case Inversion Macro

        ' ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ '

        ' Start 1337 Macro

        If leet.Checked = True Then
            DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("e", "3")
            DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("E", "3")
            'DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("a", "4")
            'DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("A", "4")
            DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("T", "7")
            DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("t", "7")
            DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("G", "9")
            DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("g", "9")
            DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("B", "8")
            DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("b", "8")
            'DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("S", "5")
            'DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("s", "5")
        End If
 
        ' End 1337 Macro

        ' ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ '

        ' ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ '

        ' Start ASCII Macro

        If ascii.Checked = True Then
            DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("a", "@")
            DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("A", "@")
            DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("i", "!")
            DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("i", "!")
            DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("S", "$")
            DBOX.Text = DBOX.Text.Replace("s", "$")
        End If
 
        ' End ascii Macro

        ' ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ '

        ' Start: Douche Successful

        DBOX.BackColor = Color.LimeGreen
        DBOX.ForeColor = Color.White
        DBOX.ReadOnly = True
 
        ' End: Douche Successful
    End Sub
 
    Private Sub Button2_Click(ByVal sender As System.Object, ByVal e As System.EventArgs) Handles Button2.Click
        ' Make forms editable etc
        DBOX.BackColor = Color.White
        DBOX.ForeColor = Color.Black
        DBOX.ReadOnly = False
        DBOX.Text = ""
 
    End Sub
    ' Invert the case of all characters of the input string
    '
    ' Examples:
    '    Debug.WriteLine(FlipCase("Hello World")) ' => hELLO wORLD
    '    Debug.WriteLine(FlipCase("hELLO wORLD")) ' => Hello World
    '    Debug.WriteLine(FlipCase("3) this is message n. 3")) ' => 3) THIS IS
    ' MESSAGE N. 3

    Function FlipCase(ByVal input As String) As String
        Dim i As Integer
        Dim res As New System.Text.StringBuilder(input.Length)
 
        For i = 0 To input.Length - 1
            ' if the char is lowercase, add to the stringbuilder the char in
            ' uppercase
            If Char.IsLower(input.Chars(i)) Then
                res.Append(Char.ToUpper(input.Chars(i)))
            ElseIf Char.IsUpper(input.Chars(i)) Then
                ' if the char is uppercase, add to the stringbuilder the char in
                ' lowercase
                res.Append(Char.ToLower(input.Chars(i)))
            Else
                ' if the char is a digit or another non-letter char, add it as it is
                res.Append(input.Chars(i))
            End If
        Next
        Return res.ToString()
    End Function
 
    Private Sub About_Click(ByVal sender As System.Object, ByVal e As System.EventArgs) Handles About.Click
        MsgBox("DoucheSpeak is an application written to poke fun at the current generation's creativity (bleh). Program written by David Stancu.", MsgBoxStyle.Information, "About DoucheSpeak")
    End Sub
 
    Private Sub DSUB_Click(ByVal sender As System.Object, ByVal e As System.EventArgs) Handles DSUB.Click
        InputBox("Are you an EVEN GREATER douchebag and have better ways of sounding like an idiot? Then use this form to submit to me what you would like to add! I will moderate these requests and add them in future releases!")
    End Sub
End Class
mach_kernel
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